Few things offend me more than diamond ads, and they get worse around Christmas-time every year. You expect me to believe that this stupid guy is going to get lucky just because he bought that girl a diamond? We should just skip the innuendo and get right to the point with a slogan like this one:

Because women are all basically prostitutes.

Buy diamonds.

Never mind the social and financial price we pay as a planet for a commodity that has no inherent value.

Normally I don't get this vitriolic until after lunch, but I've been practicing this particular rant for years.