2 questions

1. I bought new glasses last week, and if I'm not mistaken they told me i was paying extra to have the lenses Scotchguarded. 1a. Did the person who invented this process, or at least this term, become a millionaire? 1b. If we Scotchguarded the whole world, would all spilled liquids hover uncertainly, half an inch above the ground?

2. Who thought of the idea of selling delivered pizzas with dipping sauces? This idea is so great and yet so bad for you. The dips are like little packets of heart attack. But at the same time, I sort of admire that mentality. Like, how do we incorporate more cheeze in pizza? (failed answers: make crust out of cheese, make all other toppings out of cheese, make the box out of cheese so people can eat the box after they've eaten the pizza)