Dispatches from the grocery store

Dear the lady behind me in line at Save-on-foods yesterday:
Yes, your husband sure sounds like a dick, although it sounds like the disintegration of your marriage started a long time ago and was probably not entirely his fault. You're right, you do need a haircut. Yes, you probably should use your save-on-more card to buy your single jar of honey. I don't know if you should get a dog. If you do decide to get one, I would definitely recommend a schnauzer over a daschund or a chihuahua. And yes, you will have to take it to the vet, and yes, it will be expensive. So maybe it's not a good idea. You don't sound like the most responsible person.

Dear the guy in front of me in line at Save-on-foods yesterday:
Thanks. I hope you have the greatest day of your life today, too.