Two recent additions to the lexicon

Here are two things that I have recently begun saying.

I. "Oh, come on, Bible!" On 30 Rock, Liz Lemon is delivering a reading (the standard one from Corinthians) at Floyd's wedding. She has been forced to "stall" by Jack so she starts leafing through the Bible randomly looking for passages to read, and she keeps encountering ones about spilling seed on the ground, and things like that. She gets all annoyed and is like, "Oh, come on, Bible! Help a lady out!" "Oh, come on, Bible!" has become a standard indication of irritation for me, perfect for when nothing seems to be going right.

II. "I can do anything good." Embedded below is my favourite Internet video, maybe of all time. I quote a lot of things from it, including making disjointed but enthusiastic lists of things I like (which vary from one moment to the next but usually include, "I like my husband. I like my dog. I like my garden. I like my Glee DVDs. I like my coffee.") But "I can do anything good" is my favourite. I think this little girl probably means "I can do anything well," ie., I can do a good job of anything; but I prefer the actual meaning, which is that there are good things around, and I can do all of them. I also like going, "yeah. yeah. yeah. yeah" while doing a jumpy little dance. Oh man, I need to watch it again right now.

Chickens? Chickens!

Today I ordered some eggs from a co-worker who keeps chickens. I'm inordinately excited about fresh eggs from happy chickens. (Which have not been de-beaked, or, I should think, tricked into thinking it is spring all the time.) AND! When I mentioned to some co-workers my enthusiasm at finding a source for local, fresh eggs:

Co-Worker 1: I keep chickens too. And I give the eggs away for free.
Co-Worker 2: So does Co-Worker 3, in our department.
Jocelyn: WHAT?!?

What is up with all these people with chickens? I had no idea it was such a phenomenon. I am beginning to think that I, as a non-chicken-keeper, might be in the minority.

[Note: this is because I work at a county library, and a number of my co-workers live on acreages or even farms. I expect this level of chicken-keeping is not seen in the general urban population. OR IS IT?]

Tasty, tasty murder

James and I watched Fast Food Nation last night, and now I don't eat red meat anymore. I'm not kidding. It's not a great movie--a little too earnest, plus in it Avril Lavigne's character claims to have read a book--but the final sequence, of cows being slaughtered, was unwatchable for me. I may eventually give up pork as well, although at the moment there are pork chops in my fridge, so that day is not today.

(I read the book this movie was based on, as well, several years ago, and it had much the same effect on me--except it was fast food I gave up, and that resolution lasted for six months. I may also give up exploiting the illegal Mexican workers, which, fortunately, would have absolutely no effect on my life whatsoever.)

This is not exactly because I think killing animals, to eat, is wrong. I remain resolute in my belief that animals, if they came to dominate the planet, would eat us--especially fish. It's because all the various factors that co-operate to allow us to eat as much meat as we do in this country are not a sustainable way of setting up a lifestyle, or an economy. And I am all about sustainability.

I'll let you know how it goes.

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Currently listening to: Joseph Arthur - Black Lexus
via FoxyTunes

Little red book? How about a little red blog.

From how about orange: Maopost.com, a website devoted to posters from Maoist China. Most exciting, you can submit a photo of yourself and have a custom painting made, in which you are rendered as a "socialist hero." That's so hot. If only I had 169 American dollars... There are also regular, non-personalized posters (actual posters, not copies) for sale, many of them featuring wholesome-looking Chinese peasants going about their wholesome lives, looking utterly untroubled by the acts of bloodshed perpetuated by their regime.* Right on!

After searching for a few minutes, the best relatively cheap similar posters (reprints, not originals) I've found are from China Books. I didn't know it when I woke up this morning, but my unexpected GST rebate cheque may be destined to buy posters. I am all about times of great political strife being reinvented as pop art.

I am so hungry, internet. I am like a hungry, angry baby. But I did quite a bit of real work today, including sending out some VERY professional-sounding emails, so I will be able to go home in 25 minutes with a song in my heart. Plus... and I know you've been waiting for news with baited breath... they fixed the air conditioning, or something! I'm not an air conditioningologist, but it's much much cooler in my office today. Now if only there was a cracker and cheese plate... and maybe some juice boxes... I would be the happiest digital-library-something-or-other in the world.

*I do not mean to suggest that the wholesome peasants are responsible for the regime of Chairman Mao. I realize that it was not their fault, and also, it was probably not their Best Political System Ever. After all, they probably got tired of teaching useless city-slickers how to do various wholesome peasanty things.

I am all about doing four of my favourite things in one night:

1. Watching X-Files
2. Eating takeaway butter chicken
3. Screenprinting
4. Finishing a book [Christopher Priest's The Prestige--I don't like it! Is it possible to like a movie and not the book it was based on? Am I biased because I saw the movie first? In some heretofore undetermined future post, I address these issues and more!]

Any time I spend updating this site is time I am not spending doing the four things. See ya.

From the New York Times: In India, Grandma Cooks, They Deliver.

To achieve [home-cooked meals delivered to workplaces] in this sprawling urban amalgamation of an estimated 25 million people, where long commutes by train and bus are routine, Mumbai residents rely on an intricately organized, labor-intensive operation that puts some automated high-tech systems to shame. It manages to deliver tens of thousands of meals to workplaces all over the city with near-clockwork precision.

Cool. I am all about highly efficient informal networks.

Things you can buy for $1... well, you know the rest.

I am all about bendy straws with integrated drink umbrellas. Now that's efficiency.

That's right, I totally just made a new blogger tag for "things you can buy"... because I am JUST THAT SHALLOW/WEB 2.0. I find my elaborate and inconsistent tagging system endlessly amusing. Granularity and aboutness be damned!

I am all about finishing assignments more or less on-time, the open-access journal movement, pork chops, pillows from wal-mart, multi-tasking on my GIANT MONITOR, and the pussycat dolls' song "buttons" (i know... i suck).

I shall type ever onwards. I am making good progress on the week's assignments... little quick math...

10/10
31/35 (that's right, I have 4/35ths of an assignment left to do, you got a problem with that?)
5/25

I am 46/70ths done! w00t.

This is an experiment... and you are part of it

the 1000 journals project has been going on for years, but by now many of the journals have returned home. Excerpts from them are being published in a booky book! I know, exciting! It makes a great gift for your favourite overworked grad student, too, or so I've heard.

I am all about projects that involve mail, glue, and journals.

Enough mind games.

Perhaps I am the only one who enjoys Trying to name all 50 American states in 10 minutes, but then, if there is another such person, the internet is surely the way to find them. [From ironic sans]

Also, I apparently do not know how to spell Massachusetts or Connecticut. It is good to know these things sooner rather than later.

I got 38 out of 50. Go and try, then report back. (I'll give you a hint, punk: Oklahoma exists. At least according to this website.) You are expected to do better than me if you are actually American. Since you know I can name all the provinces and territories, sucka. Of course, it helps that there are only 12.^*

*I am kidding. I know there are 13. And 70% of the people reading this website just learned something. I am all about the learnin'!