A little boy in my library, his voice full of wonderment, to his mom:

"Chapter books are looooooong."

So, I know no one wants to know this, but I have no techy co-workers to talk to about it: I'm figuring out how to link to specific resources within our e-book collections and databases. I'm setting it up to work with our proxy authentication service. And EVERYTHING IS WORKING BEAUTIFULLY.

I'm such a genius sometimes. I just stuck my tongue out and made the devil-horns sign with my fingers just because I felt SOMEONE should acknowledge how great I am.

Random Can't-Believe-My-Library-Owns-This book of the day:

The Collector's Encyclopedia of Buttons. Sally Luscomb, 1967.

I may order a newer edition.

Work angst

How is it possible that some of these things have been sitting on my desk since JULY? Why haven't they just disintegrated? Doesn't work BIODEGRADE?

Oh, coworkers. You are such jokers.

Backstory: Yesterday or the day before someone sent out an email to all the staff of my library saying that there was an old pole in the hallway, which someone could have if they wanted it. Apparently it was removed from the parking lot for some reason. Anyway, that is not important. When I walked by it today I saw this:


The top note is from someone indicating that they would like to have the pole. The second note, undoubtedly added by another co-worker, is a helpful suggested reference work:



But the most important question is: do we have it in our collection? No we do not. In fact a quick search turned up not a single result on the subject.

Dear Friday:

you can make me come to work, but you can't make me wear shoes.

hey internet. I'm pretty tired today, in spite of the nonfat white mocha that sits on the desk in front of me, so I'm going to pretend I'm a 15 year old kid on myspace and i'm not going to capitalize letters or use punctuation. i just don't feel like it. i was thinking of spelling some things wrong too but that will probably require more energy than spelling them right, such is the obsessive nature of my brain.

as much as i like my job i sometimes get depressed by the number of people around, especially online, who seem to know nothing about anything and furthermore have no ability to find out the things they don't know WHATSOEVER. how can we help these people? i mean, we can give them the specific information they want (sometimes) or refer them somewhere where they will be able to get it, or in most cases say, "sorry, no one knows that but you" ("should i ask out my cute friend? i'm not sure if he likes me") but at the end of the day, they will still be the type of person who types ludicrous and/or personal questions into a random internet form box in hopes that a stranger will tell them whether they are pregnant, or what type of car to buy, or how to house-break their puppy, or whatever. that is a problem no librarian can solve.

hypothesis: these people also go all the way around traffic circles in the outside lane, they smoke at bus stops, and they leave their dog in the front yard but not tied up, so it chases my dog when i take her for a walk.

but: then i let her poop in their yard and don't scoop, so who is winning?

Ghah, Internet! i cannot concentrate on ANYTHING today and i keep trying to do this incredibly mundane, repetitive task that I really need to finish for work and instead my brain is like IKEA! garden! SIMS! IKEA! chocolate-covered peanuts! Etsy! Emma! garden! nice weather outside! Harry Potter! like that, on and on and on and on. hey, jocelyn! forget about that spreadsheet! let's go ride bikes! says my brain, and i am powerless. so perhaps a blog will help me to get it out of my system. (side-lol: i love how old people call individual entries blogs, as in, I wrote a blog about that. or what have you. it's so adorably almost-correct.)

The great thing about working in a library is that all my co-workers are bright, passionate, interesting people who love books and ideas and tea and talking about books. never have i felt so consistently at ease among one group of people, as since i entered the library world. (That, and I get to order whatever strikes my fancy on interlibrary loan.) The bad thing about working in a library is that it is so quiet in here today, internet, that earlier i was spinning my chair in 360 degree circles just to feel the slight vibrations of noise in the air. i think we could all afford to listen to our radios at a reasonable volume, you know what i'm saying?

The other day i told james i was bored of being married, and he said, really? i think you're just bored of The Sims 3 and i had to admit that this type of incisive thinking is, indeed, why i am not bored of being married, at least not to him.

So far being married is almost exactly like being not-married, which is fine because i liked being not-married and got very good at in in 8 years. i do call James my "husband" now which i am trying to get more used to, although "man friend" has slipped out once or twice and I don't think anyone is judging me. And he gets an obscene amount of pleasure out of referring to me as his "wifey."

However, I am suddenly aware of the idea of a marriage, like a third entity that we've created and are responsible for. I never felt this way about relationship, not really, but marriage is much harsher. It stresses me out, a bit, having to care for something that seems so doomed to have words like "dysfunctional," "failed" or "unhappy" prefacing it. Somehow we obtained this marriage and now we have to keep it up. This has nothing to do with James, or I, as what exists between us feels as inalienable and comfortable and almost obnoxiously easy to care for as ever in application; it's this hypothetical marriage that seems so doomed, so fraught with pressure. We should just call it something else.

We could name it after a piece of IKEA furniture for example. We don't have a marriage, we have an ektorp. I feel more at ease already.

update

Today I spent a few minutes at work searching to see if I could find a ninja costume for my dog to wear. But I didn't find anything good.

@work, longweekend

don't really want to start anything for fear of messing up my niceeeee, clean desk.

Some photoshopped pirate animals.

i am so proud of myself, Internet!

I've been annoyed with myself recently because I'm not being nearly as productive as I should be at work, and I feel like I'm kind of running around flailing my arms (metaphorically speaking) because I'm so disorganized and I don't know how to start anything. BUT! This morning I cleaned off my desk, including going through all the piles of paper, some of which have been there undealt with since January (sigh). I put stickies on a bunch of things and passed them on to other people. I ordered several hundred dollars worth of books. I discarded a handful of things that have been sitting around for weeks/months, and I recycled a few others. I archived all the email that's not relevant to me, and categorized the rest by what project it belongs to. I set up an RSS news feed to syndicate on to our website (which made its first appearance in my work-goals a year ago). I fixed several dozen links that were not launching in new windows like they were supposed to. I made a budget-related spreadsheet that 2 other people were waiting for. AND! I helped a woman find out how to order catepillars for her daycare, so the kids could watch the insect-magic taking place.

good day.

top of the morning to ya, teh Internets!!11.

I'm working on my contract project again, so I'm at the U of A (my home computer doesn't have Publisher installed, so I come here to work). Classes are over and there are, no exaggeration, NO OTHER PEOPLE HERE. There are hundreds of computers available. I chose one whose monitor seemed to be at the correct height already. I feel like I should do a dance, running around the room and singing. But... what would I sing?

Maybe a song like this:
I went to the Tim Horton's in CAB
It had the shortest Tim Horton's line I have ever seen
But no debit and no credit
So, disappointed, I put my coffee cup back in my baggggggggg

Sorry no postie. I just got back yesterday from the Alberta Library Conference in Jasper, which was a surreal blur of a weekend--some conference sessions, but also meeting various Canadian writers and journalists (no name-dropping, I'm not that crass), drinking more beverages in 1 weekend than possibly ever before (which is still not that many), and (I wish I was kidding about this) walking around downtown Jasper searching for a Gossip Girl novel. Which I did not find. Not surprisingly. Oh, and most of the beverages were paid for by database vendors, which I find hilarious. They call me at work and try to sell me their database products, which I don't purchase, but damn right I'll drink their free drinks. I'm not made of stone.

Walking from the staff room to my desk this morning, carrying a mug of coffee and a bottle of water and feeling like Kronk from The Emperor's New Groove. Shoulder coffee/devil: "Just drink some coffee, Jocelyn!" Shoulder water/angel: "But water is so good for you!"

Grasping at straws?

I'm having the most insanely productive week so far. It's weird because in every other area of my life I feel exhausted and burnt out and also physically sore, like from cleaning and moving and painting and carrying. But I get to work and I'm like, Yeah, I'll do everything on this to-do list, no big deal. I've been cleaning out my inbox and training people and answering questions and putting up displays and ordering books like a mofo.

Other life-trends: I am on a gadget streak. Aside from being obsessed with my new iPod touch (Viktor--this one is definitely a boy for some reason), I also got a Nintendo DS recently which is sparkly and pink. Mostly all I do is play Brain Age Sudoku on it, but that's only because Tetris hasn't gotten here yet. What with all this wireless/gaming connectivity, I never turn on my home computer anymore, which is weird. If they invented Desktop Tower Defence for either iPhone or DS it would ALL BE OVER. In fact, during my lunch break I might have to brave the weird dudes who work in the video game store in the mall just so I can check out what they've got for me. Sometimes when I'm taking a little break from installing cupboard doors I just sit down on the kitchen floor and check Twitter on my iPod which is MAGIC. I love almost nothing is unpacked in our new house but our wireless network is robust and operational. WHEN NERDS DATE NERDS!

I have only succeeded at teaching my Computer Club attendees one thing, but that one thing is valuable. We're thinking of having shirts made: Try right-clicking: Nothing bad will happen.

on Parking Lot Tundra; and the philosophy of presents

In order to get to work from T-Ho's this morning I had to trek across the barren parking lot tundra. It was intense. My shoes got full of snow. I ran into a guy who was rounding up Safeway carts and he waved at me, the way you have to be friendly to people in the wilderness. Because, when the weather gets like this, we all might die at any moment.

I am resisting the urge to play Desktop Tower Defence at work... like, just barely resisting. This game is like Flash-animated crack. I was clear of it for months and months... then, just when I think I'm out, they pull me back in. I've beat it on Hard mode twice now, but every time I do, I just barely squeeze out a victory. I need to get to the point where I can beat it consistently, and then I won't need to play anymore. Or so I tell myself.

I got so much done at work yesterday, I feel I may be done everything for 2009 already. I returned one phone call this morning, but other than that I think today is a wash. I only have to work until noon, anyway. Sometimes I just move piles of paper around on my desk.

Re: Christmas. I like Christmas presents, partly because of the obvious, getting-new-stuff factor, but what I like more is how the presents people pick for me represent this distillation of who I am as a person. I realize that's very conceited, but then I already have a blog updated with meaningless information about my life, so I'm guessing the fact that I'm conceited is not a revelation to anyone reading this. The presents I got represent this Jocelyn-Version who likes books and jewelry and seashell chocolates and rocket-stickers and iTunes. I guess presents are nice because they mean someone spent at least 5 minutes thinking about you.

This is also why weird, non-suitable presents seem so off-putting. Because it means the person who got the present doesn't know you, or doesn't CARE. Or they're just really bad at buying presents, I guess.

Le sigh.

Work mysteries

1. Why is there a plastic magazine file labelled "Municipal World" full of paperwork on my desk?

2. Why haven't I received any email since last Friday?

Small pleasures

This is one of my favourite times of year because I finally get to wear mittens. I love how mittens can make a totally impractical outfit downright cozy.

The second season of 30 Rock is hilarious.

Also: wheeled office chairs are basically the main reason I became an adult. I just wheeled down to the end of the workroom and back, ostensibly for a "meeting."

One non-pleasure: I want two of the Amazon MP3 store's $5 albums today, but they still serve only US customers. It's so ridiculous. It's like I'm trying to hand them cash and they're like, ohh... we're not really interested. thanks though.

I think you will find that if you search the Massachusetts Bay Trading Co. website for "lobster" you will find 42 potential Christmas gifts for me. I am particularly intrigued by these gummi lobsters. You can also buy actual lobsters from them, although sending lobsters through the mail is not something I can endorse.

Last night James and I watched the first disc of Planet Earth, the BBC documentary about animals. It is now my favourite movie, and I was already on Amazon trying to figure out the best possible collector's-and-or-gift-set package in which to buy it. I took a controversial stance: "You know what I think are cute? Baby animals." You can count on me to make those tough judgement calls. About cuteness, and other issues.

I've been very very busy at work. It's fun, though. How many people get to have a job where they feel like a superhero every day? Yeah. I feel guilty.

This is what I'm working on from home today: PAGES conference. I'm mostly linking it here so google will spider it. Mercenary!

Pretending the desk is a boat

I've built a little fortress of book-carts and office furniture around myself, and I am not coming out until someone brings me some Starbucks.

Customer service, with a side of mockery

Haha, OK, there are these twelve-year-old boys who spend all day every day at my library playing Runescape. I created an account on the site just to see what it's like. Now I feel doubly disdainful of them because (a) they spend all day at the public library, trying to con the library staff into giving them more computer time; (b) they do that in order to play a game that is on the lame, so-cheezy-you-can't-play-it-without-crackers (albeit free) side. So next time I have to kick them off the computers I might also make fun of them. Or just be like, "Look, I play a real MMO, and I have a Hammer of Destiny so... get off the computers."

The fangirl in me is geeking out over not one but TWO articles in the blogipelago today, on the awesomeness that is Scully: Scully have I loved [at Salon], and Feminism and the X-Files (My Ode to Dana Scully) [on Feministing]. Squeeeee. Even if the movie sucks, I've been collecting all the DVDs so I can just start again at the pilot. I watch to forget.