Apparently, Mr. Rogers was the nicest guy in the world. "Every one of the cardigans he wore on the show had been hand-knit by his mother." When confronted with that kind of wholesomeness, if you do not tear up a little bit, then you are dead inside. I feel sort of bad for finding him creepy as a child.

I doubt I am going to astound anyone with this particular piece of wisdom, but the terrible thing about working full-time is having to go to work five days a week. Conversely, the great thing about working full-time is not having to work in the evenings or on the weekends. Pardon my ignorance, but I've been in school a long time, so it's been a bit of an adjustment. I have gotten through 8 business days already. I go home in the evening and I have nothing to do--it's WEIRD.

A few times a day, I check in on the otter cam at the Vancouver Aquarium. I want to be an otter when I grow up, so this is good "research."

Paris April 1st, 1922

A mile of clean sand.
I will write my name here, and the trouble that is my heart.
I will write the date & place of my birth,
What I was to be,
And what I am.
I will write my forty sins, my thousand follies,
My four unspeakable acts...
I will write the names of the cities I have fled from,
The names of the men and woman I have wronged.
I will write the holy name of her I serve,
And how I serve her ill.
And I will sit on the beach and let the tide come in.
I will watch with peace the great calm tongue of the tide
Licking from the sand the unclean story of my heart.

-Edna St. Vincent Millay

SwapMeat: Send something in, and get something back. Maybe. "You're going to have to trust us on this, but we'll check out what you send and then send you back some stuff of approximately equal value. That might be stuff we received from someone else or some of our stuff, or some combination of the two."

Slate article on LOLCATS, those inexplicably appealing pictures of cats with strange captions that have become an internet phenomeneme. (heh heh, I invented a new compound word that is a combination of "phenomenon" and "meme.") You know, like this:

The Wikipedia article also contains some tips on lolcat grammar. Of course there is a library-themed variation, lolbrarians. This forum has a ton of examples, including some of the very interesting "I am in ur x, doing y" sub-genre. THE INTERNET!

From Mental Floss: How to win at Rock, Paper, Scissors (RPS). There is a surprising amount of psychology behind this game. I was glad to have my own personal RPS hunch verified: "When All Else Fails Go With Paper." That is part of the reason I decided to become a librarian.

I finally got around to downloading the last.fm program, and now it's psychomusicoanalyzing me based on my itunes playlist. Oh, and it works with foxytunes. I loves me some integrated music players. If you are on last.fm we should be friends!

I even awarded it the rare privilege of running in my system tray. We'll see how it works out.

When I get bored at work...

I read the futility closet, mental floss or damn interesting (which I think should technically be "damned interesting," but it's not up to me).

"That was diverting yet pointless."

Yesterday James and I went to Moore's, which prompted me to think (for the first time really) about ties. I like how superfluous they are--one of the few things men ordinarily wear that are purely decorative. If you think about it, ties are pretty silly, and that makes them great. I think I may have even coined some kind of semi-serious slogan for the tie industry, such as, "a tie makes a suit an outfit." If I were a man I would wear a tie everyday, to everything, with everything. Also, I would buy retro-looking ties from thrift stores and screenprint on them. Come to think of it, I might do that anyway.

Ties I think you should buy: cyberoptix (especially this one), TrisHank Design, handlebar moustache tie (weird and awesome!), unique look, an octopus. Or, for the punk-positive workplace: skulls. I want to make out with Etsy, all the time. I would buy everything there if I could.

You know what is not nearly as cool as ties? Things that are tie-dyed. LIVE IN THE NOW! Unless you had a tie that was tie-dyed, which might be sort of amusing, although undoubtedly still ugly.

From the New York Times: In India, Grandma Cooks, They Deliver.

To achieve [home-cooked meals delivered to workplaces] in this sprawling urban amalgamation of an estimated 25 million people, where long commutes by train and bus are routine, Mumbai residents rely on an intricately organized, labor-intensive operation that puts some automated high-tech systems to shame. It manages to deliver tens of thousands of meals to workplaces all over the city with near-clockwork precision.

Cool. I am all about highly efficient informal networks.

Things I have ordered on the Internet today because I did not want to come to work in the first place

Two shirts from threadless: in oceanic fashion (sharkumentary!) and holding pattern.

A comic book cuff from lizzy in a tizzy.
Some fish buttons from oh my cavalier.
A glass pendant necklace from Littleput books.
A cartoon science (um, I mean Science!) card from dote.

A lifetime LibraryThing membership because LibraryThing is awesome, and not being able to add the new Lois Lowry books I bought yesterday broke my heart a little bit. Why did I even contemplate a one-year membership when a lifetime one was available? It's absurd.

I almost earned enough money today to pay for these things, but not quite. Obviously I can't afford to make this into a habit.

I'm sorry I keep neglecting you, Internet. (Hey, I just thought of something. If you had some Internet that was really boring and didn't do anything, like this blog in fact, you could call it 'Inertnet'! Heh heh.) I started a new job last week and I am in that preliminary shock phase, where most of the time my brain is saying one of three things: (a) it's so earrrrrly and i'm so tirrrred (b) what happened to all my free time? (c) so I get to buy things from etsy now because I have money again for the first time in years? So yep, it has its downsides and upsides. Also my moms was staying with me this weekend and we were absorbed with eating in restaurants, shopping, going to bleak Canadian movies, and the like. Anyway, that's my excuse. What's yours?

Nerrr-dy alert

From Slate: a little essay (photo-essay?) about the ubiquitous font Helvetica. (Ironically, it seems that the font used for the essay itself is Verdana.) Now the subject, also, of a tell-all book (persumably from the series 12PT: Behind the Typeface) and a documentary film.

I don't want to judge said film and book without having seen/read them, but does it ever seem to anyone else that our society is becoming really fragmented in its attentions? I mean, people used to write these books that would be like, "a brief Euro-centric history of civilization, some amusing racist limericks, three recipes for tripe, a hand-drawn map of Asia, a mathematical proof, and some parenting advice" (these books were referred to, in brief, as "Almanacs") whereas now you can read a 600-page book that is, like, a detailed history of the paperclip or an incisive commentary on vinyl. I'm not saying this is bad necessarily; it's just interesting.

I do live chat reference now for a couple different places (one as part of my job, the other as a volunteer) so if you post a question to any Alberta chat reference service I would say there is about a 60% chance it is being answered by me. In case it isn't being answered by me though, don't post facetious questions about Joss Whedon or attempts to prepare butter chicken in the home (tip: it never works. Go to an Indian restaurant.)

Ghah, I'm so sleepy today. I can only conclude that work makes me exhausted, and I am not cut out for it. I want a trust fund, NOW!

Whenever I am out and about on a weekday, during the day, I always ponder: WHO ARE ALL THESE PEOPLE WHO ARE NOT WORKING? I know why I'm not, but why aren't they? It turns out some preliminary "research" has been done into this subject. The San Francisco Gate has an article entitled The mystery of the daytime idle: Why aren't you working? This has also been the subject of a This American Life episode, Secret Life of Daytime. The findings, roughly summarized: most of these people are "writing" something. Sort of like me, except in coffee houses instead of a little half-cubicle at the end of a hallway. (I stole all those links from kottke.org.)

My other recent internet find is this Wikipedia article on the Voynich Manuscript, which is fascinating. Things like this make my almost-librarian heart go pitter patter.

Post-Riposte

PS. In an earlier entry today, I said "boringest" and "sorrily" in one sentence. And I'm not fixing it. Lexical nazis be damned!

Riposte

Dear Matt,

It's nice to meet you. Or as we used to say in Spanish 100, el gusto es mio. I am glad we have grown (bizarrely organically) to be blog-buddies. I like knowing that every obsessive Joss-Whedon-obsessed post I write will find at least one appreciative reader. Thanks for humouring me by dressing like your South Park version. Thanks for the Lost and Harry Potter updates--I just ziplisted the first season of Lost, mainly so I would know what you were talking about (no cable!). Thanks for making me your special case/fellow supervillain (I like this metaphor by the way. Rather than the Riddler, though, if possible I would like to put in a request for Catwoman). Together we shall rule Metaphor Gotham City.

Yours in green and pink,
Jocelyn

I used to own this extreme freeware version of Tetris for my 386. This was in the era when everything on a computer screen was presented in huge blocks of varying shades of grey. The game had a built-in "playing at work" hotkey that would pause the game and display this separate screen--a bar graph with the names of cities at the bottom. And it looked hilariously low-budg, like the game itself. I always wondered who this was supposed to benefit--is there really someone out there who legitimately looks at bar graphs like that at work? Especially bar graphs that are CLEARLY from the 80s?

Well, now I wish I kind of had such a bar graph myself. Except the bar graph would be labelled: "Monographs" "audio/visual" "Serials" "Grey literature." I would look at it intently, but in my mind, I would be playing Tetris.

"Also, I can kill you with my brain."

Last night I watched "Space," which I sorrily have to declare the boringest X-Files episode ever. That said, I always forget how much I like that show. I started watching it around season 3 and was committed to it for years--until it seemed to become overwhelmed by the weight of its own conspiracies. My favourite is Scully, of course: she wears normal (even dowdy) clothes, which I relate to more and more as I hold a series of increasingly serious jobs; and she is all cerebral and rational and competent. Also, she is tiny, but she sometimes shoots people or wrestles them to the floor. I also like the understated Mulder/Scully dynamic of mutual respect, trust, and affection that does not really seem to be tempered with misguided crushes or drama or lust.

Does Mulder ever shoot people? I have noticed that on Law and Order: Criminal Intent (which I don't watch anymore) only Eames ever shoots people. Perhaps Vincent D'Onofrio is actually so cerebral he can't operate firearms.

I am at my new job, wearing wrinkly pants and drinking tea I made myself in the little job-kitchen. I feel sort of lost. It reminds me of this exploding dog cartoon in which a sad little stick-person is all alone in an empty room, and slips of paper keep floating in through slits in the walls. The caption reads, "I don't understand my job." I have a desk, and a stapler, but no purpose.

I love del.icio.us and especially the way it recommends tags for me when I bookmark new things. It is ALMOST ALWAYS RIGHT! Except, today I have been bookmarking things for work, and the tag I use for my new job is "digitalaccess," and del.icio.us cannot figure this out. Every time, I am like, "DUH! I'm at work! What tag do you THINK I should be using?"

All I want is a system that keeps track of my whereabouts and what task I am working on, and recommends tags based on that--without invading my privacy. Is that too much to ask, Internet?

So miscellaneous.

(a) Nifty: map of online communities. You can barely get across the world without having to at least wander into MySpace. Take lots of fresh water and granola bars.

(b) I am also digging the Stars (sort of) album Do You Trust Your Friends? which is remixes and covers of Set Yourself on Fire by other bands (the dears! metric! apostle of hustle! the stills!). If this sounds like a dumb premise for an album, I'm with you, but you have to get past it. MOVE on.

(c) A memo^*
To: Various extremely right-wing Christian groups with access to the Internet
From: Jocelyn
Re: Book banning/pulpit shouting activities

I don't know why you guys are even wasting your time on Harry Potter which, for all its witchcraft and perceived disobedience of authority figures, is firmly rooted in Judeo-Christian literary imagery and trope. May I suggest you adjust your sights onto Philip Pullman's His Dark Materials trilogy? The only reason I can think of that this has not already happened is that you are not as well-read as you maybe could be. Well, I am here, with an English degree and most of an MLIS, to help. (And mock, really. To help and mock.) GET WITH THE PROGRAM. How do you expect to have a serious negative impact on North Americans' intellectual freedom if you are going to waste your time with bestsellers you clearly haven't understood in the first place, and completely ignore books that could potentially be CAUSING CHILDREN EVERYWHERE TO TRY TO DECLARE WAR ON GOD AND ORGANIZED RELIGION?

Love,
Jocelyn

* disclaimer: if you can't tell that I am being sarcastic, then you are a moron

2 notes that happen to relate to children's books

From Something Awful: pretty much the worst children's book ever written. Latawnya, The Naughty Horse, Learns to Say "No" to Drugs.

On the 17th, Lloyd Alexander passed away from cancer. I don't usually use the phrase "passed away," so this conveys how much I venerate this man. He created Vesper Holly, after all.

the website boingboing got to name an airplane, thanks to Virgin America CEO Richard Branson. Now, Unicorn Chaser is set to hit the skies. (The first Virgin America plane, Jefferson Airplane, was named by... you guessed it... Grace Slick.) See nameourplanes.com

This of course reminds me of the Simpsons where Mr. Burns decided to become a popular business owner like Richard Branson, leading to a semi-spontaneous conga line led my Mr. Smithers: "Conga conga conga! We love Monty Burns more! Conga like you mean it! Please don't make me shock you!"

adventures* in furniture delivery

I just got a new futon and they delivered it today. The delivery guys called me because they couldn't find my apartment building. To be fair to them, they had been given the wrong address, 1 street over. Still, I think this conversation is pretty hilarious:

Delivery guy: We're by the Starbucks, do you know where the Starbucks is?
Jocelyn: Yes, my building is one block east of there.
Delivery guy: East? [confused pause] What colour is your building?

Dear delivery guy: if you don't know what direction east is, maybe you should consider a different line of work.

So the futon was delivered to my apartment in two wood framey pieces and 1 big rolled-up mattress. So far, so good. I looked at these components and fit them together the way they needed to be fit together, where they will be held together some day with two huge bolts. And, with great difficulty and sore hands and tiny metal shards on the carpet, I managed to get one of the giant bolts in. But the other is eluding me. I HATE this moment. I have used my brain to figure out how furniture should go together, I have the appropriate tools, I have an above-average level of physical strength because I am a giant, and I still can't get the blasted thing to go together. And my tempting, automatic response is to sit down on the floor and cry. Futons should not be allowed to make me feel like a girly girl. With willingness, resolve, and the high-quality plyers my father gave me when I moved into my first apartment, I should be able to assemble anything. Instead I have to call my boyfriend like a sissy and say these words: "Can you come over and help me put my futon together?"

Grrrr. I try to be independent women, but the world is screwing with me. People who know me know this: I lift furniture and other heavy objects, I assemble IKEA furniture, I hang my own pictures and shelves, I sand my old furniture before I re-paint it. I'm handy with a utility knife. I took my freakin' drain apart, remember that? I lifted a car once.^* I'm not that girl. Except, apparently, today. My futon is all like, "Get back in the kitchen, woman!" Maybe when James gets here, and assembles these mammoth pieces of pine in one smooth manly action, I can bring him a cocktail and rub his neck.

*fiascoes
**Actually, this event is mythology founded in truth. I helped two guys lift a car, and before I started helping they could not lift it on their own. Also, it was dusk, so the task may have seemed more impressive because of a trick of the light. It would be more true, though less impressive, to say that "I played a crucial role in lifting a car once."

I have long been a fan of threadless (in fact I am wearing a threadless shirt AT THIS VERY MOMENT!), but I had never heard of uneetee, which operates on a similar premise, that is, capitalism. I want to order shirts now.

Dispatches from my internet travels

i. A surreal conversation between two chatbots.

Jabberwocky: Would you like to hear a joke?
Alice: Sure, tell me about it.
J: Why don’t blind people skydive?
A: Perhaps it is impossible.
J: I think you lie a lot.

ii. An interesting response to Oprah's involvement with the self-help craze The Secret. (See previous post: Oprah's ugly secret.) "we are individually, institutionally, and societally hellbent on wishful thinking. The Secret tells us to visualize best-case scenarios and banish negative ones from our minds. Never Saw It Coming says that's what we've been doing all along—and we get blindsided by even the most foreseeable disasters because of it." Fighting self-help with science!

iii. Flatland: In this "semi-extreme performance" (?), some people lived in this bizarre plastic ant-farm house for almost three weeks. "That's crazy." "No, that's art." They even wore jumpsuits, which, as we all know, is the ultimate in team-building. (Unfortunately, their website is a usability nightmare. Memo to artists: no matter how brilliant you are, your readers still have to be able to navigate.) I've always been a fan of small, enclosed spaces, so to me this seems kind of fun. Although you could just get an RV.

iv. A photo essay: things I did while waiting on hold for Sprint customer care. Thanks to the miracle of mobile technology, we can be so efficient while we are on hold.

v. haiku:
loser with no job
i'm even tired of warcraft
bored during the day

Another wacky fishtank, this one integrating some bird wackiness. Don't ask me why I keep finding these--I don't look for them. The Internet brings them to me. This one is from a Belgian art gallery, although I can't find how to get to it from the main site.

You gotta figure the birds are really weirded out. I mean, fish are not smart enough to be weirded out, but the birds are like, "whoaaaaa."

Previous post: 09/04/07

Illinois baby approved for a gun license. Let freedom reign.

The Slow Roll: dedicated to reviewing terrible movies. Not just the old standby movies that everyone knows are terrible and most people haven't even seen, like Glitter. Undiagnosed terrible movies, like Elizabethtown. "What the Slow Roll seeks to expose are films whose badness is built into each and every frame. Each edit heralding fresh incompetence, every line a woeful misfire conceived in stupidity. The resulting catastrophe drives you to question the medium, the industry, and the state of your own soul. Yes, a movie can be that bad." I don't know about you, but I'm inspired.

I can't think of titles anymore, for anything.

sleepless in penzance: this guy is trying to break the world record by staying awake for 11 days. Yikes. I can barely stay awake for 17 hours. We better leave this to the experts.

cool metafilter thread: Things found written upon books. Especially worth checking out are the Book Inscriptions Project and Dedicated to the One I Love. I love the amount of effort metafilter people put into their posts. That is because metafilter people are hardcore. Or crazy.

I have a job interview tomorrow. I am seriously considering making up some of those nerdy job interview question flash cards. Q: What do you see as the value of belonging to professional organizations? A: I get lots of mail from them, which makes me feel like less of a loser. Also, the Canadian Library Association gave me a free coaster when I joined.

"Product" watch (that is "product" in the way that hair-salon people use the word)

I bought some herbal essences shimmery nights "shimmery spray gel," because I cannot resist glittery things that cost less than $10. However, the package claims that this hair product contains "a fusion of diamond dust and champagne." I am HIGHLY suspicious of this advertising claim. Other "fusions" (by which they may mean "infusions") that could spice up hair products and make for glamorous-sounding packaging:

• yellow stars, blue diamonds, green clovers, and pink hearts
• ground-up shark fin
• money
• artificially inseminated human ova
• O- blood
• shredded stocks and bonds
• strawberries
• Ben & Jerry's ice cream
• essence of dolphin
• actual swarovski crystals
• cognac
• vanilla essential oil

I table the motion.

Here is my weekend project: a new table for my living room. On Friday night I spotted it next to (not in) a dumpster in the back alley of my building, and I made James pull over. In fact I was kind of violent about it. I am literally astonished that someone would throw away such a good table. It is extremely sturdy, shapely, and cool. The picture on the left shows the "before"; the right, of course, is "after." I painted it red, decoupaged a vintage ad onto the top, and covered it with my junk.

I am basically turning into my dad, and doing all the things that he used to do (to my SHAME) when I was younger. I have integrated his brand of crazy with my own, though, because not only did I get this table from a dumpster, I then used it to display a bright orange cooking pot that I bought from a thrift store. I have a problem. A cheapness problem. (on a side note... I filed my taxes finally on the weekend, and I lived well below the poverty line last year. So there may be a correlation between dumpster-tables and student loans. But then, I will probably never be able to just drive by a table that clearly is in need of a new home and some sprucing-up. So maybe all this means is that when I finally do have some money, I'll be too cheap to spend it on anything.)

I shall also make this post an honourary "things you can buy for..." post since it is, in fact, a THING YOU CAN BUY FOR $0. Which is actually my favouritest kind of thing you can buy of all. (I had the supplies, paint etc., on hand. I got some free sandpaper from my sister. Project costs may vary.)

Ugh!!!

Ghah. US conservatives block cancer vaccine for girls. A vaccine against HPV is blocked in four US states because it could encourage promiscuity. This is definitely how the brains of 17-year-olds work: "Hmmm... before I was waiting to have sex until I was married, because I was afraid of getting human papillomavirus. But now that I've been vaccinated, I'm going to go sleep with the first motorcycle enthusiast I can find. And disrespect my parents!" Just to clarify: these law-makers would rather let women die of cancer than risk sending any remotely pro-sex (or, more accurately, anti-cancer) message.

Sigh. The term "wacky news" is far too flippant to apply to this story. I should make a new tag: "crazy, depressing news."

I know the guy who makes this perfect office mini-golf shot. This is my brush with fame.

From the Sydney Morning Herald: Stone Age tribe kills fishermen

This is the graffiti in my neighbourhood

These stencils, etc., appeared over last weekend. Some of them were already torn down by the time I went back with my camera today. They were so elaborate--it makes me sad that someone would tear them down. Man, people suck. But at the same time, people are pretty cool.

The importance of planning.

the zombie preparedness initiative. It seems that in this age of terrorism, we have ignored some of the real threats to humanity: zombies. velociraptor attack. Wal-mart.

why you should not make people choose between God and coffee.

Starbucks markets more 'anti-God' coffee cups. On this issue, I am torn between my principles: (a) defending people's freedom of expression (b) believing that those Starbucks "the way I see it" cups are deeply stupid

Caution: contains spoilers for a film made in the mid-1950s

In my ongoing effort to educate myself about popular culture through the miracle of zip.ca (so that I can understand every single Veronica Mars and Gilmore Girls reference), I rented Brigadoon last night. It was really disappointing--not good enough to be taken seriously, not funny/outdated/silly enough to be mocked. I didn't like the premise at all. I don't mean the premise of a town that only appears for one day every 100 years--that is AWESOME. Nor do I mean the premise of Gene Kelly and his widecracking sidekick stumbling on said town, engaging in choreographed dance numbers, and hijinks ensuing. That is also AWESOME. And no movie that has both tapdancing AND bagpipes (in one scene) can be all bad. My problem with the premise is that it was too uncomplicated. A town that appears for one day every 100 years is a recipe for pain, confusion, alienation, and regret. Dear the 1950s: not everything has to be so wholesome. Also, I'm not sure the 17th century was all that great. I mean, yes, there was some virtuous clog-dancing and cow-milking and yes, relationships between men and women were simpler then. Yes, there will silly hats, and who doesn't love silly hats? And the tartans sure looked fun. But there was also almost 100 years of warfare in Europe, imperialism, the Bubonic plague, and the Dutch tulip mania. I'm just saying.

The other thing I don't like about this movie, and movies in general actually, is the familiar trope of the girlfriend/wife who is clearly, demonstrably not suitable for the male protagonist, and we know this because she talks a lot. And he can be seen gazing longingly off into space while she prattles on, reminiscing about the girl on the side he met earlier in the movie who really, clearly, obviously gets him because she doesn't talk. Well, I speak for talkative girlfriends everywhere when I say: shut up. Snap to it. No one feels sorry for you. Stop being an ungrateful sulky bastard and pay attention to what's right in front of you. Maybe the reason your new girl on the side, who you are contemplating cheating on me with, never talks is because she's in a movie based on a Broadway musical. Or maybe she's retarded.

"Baby Got Back," in Latin. Large buttocks are pleasing to me, nor am I able to lie concerning this matter. Indeed.

Heh heh. Best news headline I've seen in awhile: Skywalkers in Korea cross Han Solo

this is 100% my new desktop wallpaper.

The Habitat building in Montreal (JPEG Image, 814x517 pixels)

a little drop of poison

i. as i type this, i am cooking a dish known around my apartment as Beef Meghanoff. i am pleased because this will inevitably lead to days and days' worth of leftovers. as the conference comes to an end, it has proved surprisingly difficult for me to remember to cook for myself. i keep expecting trays of food to appear from somewhere. but where? my storage room?

ii. james and I went to IKEA last night. i framed my poster as evidenced below. James bought a mini palm plant known as Palmela (pronounced paum-ela). if this does not seem funny to you, then you have not said it out loud enough times. i wonder if i will ever outgrow my dependence on ikea.

iii. i think library school has taught me to respect books as objects, not just texts. i was at chapters yesterday, with plans to buy my very own copies of philip pullman's his dark materials trilogy. but there were no editions i liked, just bulky paperbacks (i told James: and i don't think they were printed on acid-free paper). so i just walked away. i have learned that the reader deserves to choose the weight, the cover, the paper, of the object in her hands.

iv. yesterday i finished The Golden Compass, which was almost as good as i had been led to expect. Lyra is enchanting. today i finished Neil Gaiman's Mirrormask, which was terrible--beautiful, empty, glib, and confusing. i'm sure it did not benefit from the contrast.

v. i feel strange and sad. this is why i should never (a) sleep in the afternoon (b) finish university (c) sit on my kitchen counter in my pyjamas, eating ice cream straight out of the carton

out of wall space

Mmhmm, I am watching Becky's Gilmore Girls. And my "Keep Calm and Carry On" poster is hung right next to my map of the London subway system. Other artifacts visible in these pictures include: my elaborately decoupaged craft storage, my green Toy Story dinosaur, a giant knitting bag made in Kenya, a poster from the 826 Seattle space store, an Aztec calendar that James bought me the first summer we met, my stack o' Harry Potter books, the atlas I bought because it reminded me of my dad, and several of my many houseplants that are all on the edge of death.

thousands strip off for world's largest nude photoshoot. Humanity is so weird.

Things you can buy for $1... well, you know the rest.

I am all about bendy straws with integrated drink umbrellas. Now that's efficiency.

That's right, I totally just made a new blogger tag for "things you can buy"... because I am JUST THAT SHALLOW/WEB 2.0. I find my elaborate and inconsistent tagging system endlessly amusing. Granularity and aboutness be damned!

world subways

world subway systems, all shown at the same scale

makin' love to his tonic and gin

so here is a dumb facebook meme I just had to share. In google, type your name, then "likes to," in quotes. So for me, it's "Jocelyn likes to." Then post the top whatever hits. So for me it would be...

Jocelyn likes to draw. She can draw circles and squiggly lines and some angular figures.
Jocelyn likes to help set the table and to put the silverware away.
Jocelyn likes to be competitive
Jocelyn likes to clear daunting obstacles professionally and in her downtime
Jocelyn likes to study pure mathematics and theology
Jocelyn likes to eat almost anything but has been on a macrobiotic diet since she was 3
Jocelyn likes to read, shop, and just hang out with friends.
Jocelyn likes to spend free time golfing and reading as well as watching hockey and Seinfeld reruns.
Jocelyn likes to make the mashed potatoes
Jocelyn likes to plan her holidays
Jocelyn likes to use the two hand approach to find the MEDIAN

Such a strange assortment. Some of these are true. I can draw squiggly lines and some angular figures. I do enjoy mashing potatoes and putting silverware away. And I do like to be competitive, perhaps more than is good for me. But I hate Seinfeld, hockey, diets, and pure math. I have little or no interest in clearing obstacles of any kind, be they metaphorical or literal. And I have no idea what the last one means, but it sounds vaguely dirty, in which case it is probably true.

The conferences I was working on are over. We have a debriefing (tee hee) tomorrow, and then... who knows? I ride on into the friscillating dusklight. I already find myself forgetting the frustrating parts (and the fifteen hour days) and reminiscing fondly about the conference, a dangerous enterprise that may lead to more future conferences. This is one of memory's great tricks.

updates in one sentence or less (less!)

I have billed 70 hours of work over the past 7 days. I took some people on tours of my book exhibition. I ate so much catering food that I feel simultaneously hungry, and also like I am going to throw up. I wrecked my knee. I saw some feminist film, which (apparently) in this day and age means "lesbian film." I feel confused and disloyal. I had a dream that I had 76 voice-mail messages. I would appreciate any comments or one-sentence updates of your own (such as, "I am leaving a comment on your website, tired Jocelyn"), since I am not convinced my email is working.

patting myself on the virtual back

Here is the online exhibition I co-curated. I know you'll be excited, Internet. Women Writing and Reading

Oh yeah:

as i grow tired and sore-footed, I repeat to myself, Facebook style: "Jocelyn is a canadian, not a can'tadian."

an entry which barely even deserves the name

Hi gang!
So I am working 11-hour days at work these days, and as I write this it is 10 o'clock and I am typing this from a tiny computer vestibule at the conference site. It feels very hi-tech. So, from now until Sunday the maximum length for all deletia entries will be five lines or three sentences, whichever is less. My apologies. See you on the other side.