waiting for the end of the world, part infinity

I am not feeling good today, dudes. Not at all. I am in a multi-dimensional funk. First, I am not feeling well. Second, I am in the midst of trying to establish my future as a contractor with my current work, as they want to keep me but can't afford my keep. I have always been bad at handling situations where I have to pretend to be a professional. I am actually seriously considering some crafty business cards--does it seem like that would help? like my future as a Librarian-At-Large could seem more plausible if I had little business cards that said "Librarian-at-Large" on them? (actually, i want to get someone on etsy to custom screen-print me some business cards that look like the cards from an old card catalogue. But that is a story for another day.) Third, I am still reading The World Without Us. It's great but so, so depressing. I just finished the section on nuclear waste and it almost made me start to cry in the little lounge where I sometimes eat lunch. I'm not exaggerating. The number of totally contaminated, radioactive nuclear waste sites that have been turned into forest preserves is a depressing statement about humanity.

Sometimes I'm pretty upbeat about humanity in general*, but other times I genuinely believe the planet would be better off without us. We're the stupidest species EVER. We take contaminated sites of former nuclear processing plants and use them to house species that are on the endangered list because of us. We make thousands of items that are only designed to be used once out of a product that never disintegrates, plastic. You know? What the eff, humanity?

*the main time I am upbeat about humanity in general is when complete strangers, especially stern-looking older women, smile at babies and children in public. The sight of a grouchy-looking stranger's face lighting up when a kid smiles at them is one of the best arguments I can think of that human beings don't totally suck.

Could everyone update their blog now plz? I'm so bored. Kthxbai.