Internet Librarian resolutions

I'm at a conference in Monterey, CA. Yesterday I totally wrecked my feet walking about 4 miles in totally inappropriate ballet flats. (Note: how far is 4 miles? No one knows! Speak kilometres, people! I hope it's a lot.) A few resolutions:

1. Why don't I have a netbook? Why am I typing on my fiddly little iPhone screen and hunting around for good wifi? I am a bandwidth peasant.

2. Why don't I have a totally supercharged and impressive FireFox install on both my home and work computers? NEED MORE EXTENSIONS, clearly.

3. Why don't I have a pet otter? They are adorable and so good at diving. Actually I should probably get two, that way they can do that cute paddling-while-holding-fins thing.