This morning on the way to work I was thinking of a cool idea for a poster. It would be an intricately hand-drawn map, populated completely with fictional places from music. (The New Pornographers' Myriad Harbour was playing when I thought of it, and aside from the fact that that song is sublime, it would also be a great name for an actual harbour.) Then I was thinking about that Elvis Costello song that goes, "So they came from Ugly, Texas, and from Nameless, Tennessee..." I can't tell you how many SimCities I've built that were named one of those two things.

Actually, I can't think of any others. This might not be as good an idea as I had first assumed. Desolation row, maybe, but is that a region of a town? Like cannery row?

Searching for this topic led me to The 7 worst fictional towns in America. I've often thought that the town where Miss Marple lives (in the Agatha Christie mysteries, which I used to read compulsively) has got to be one of the worst places in the WORLD to live, with a death rate of around 15% a year. Along with Sunnydale, California, of course.

This would also be a good time to mention the rocklopedia fakebandica, the ultimate reference work for fictional bands. I can't tell you how happy it makes me that every fake band I can think of is in there.

I just get so excited about new products

[At Sea-Tac airport]
Jocelyn: They have cinnamon Tic-Tacs here [in the United States]!
James: They have them at home, too.
Jocelyn: REALLY?

cheap hi-balls and karaoke at the end of the world.

Since I'm back at work full-time, I'm back to drilling the 245 countries in 10 minutes. Unfortunately, I can't remember how far I had progressed when I stopped doing this last summer, but my goal (again) is to eventually be able to name them all. I'm a little rusty after months of slacking, so I got all but 90 of them today, and among those 90 were a few obvious misses: Argentina, Chad (CHAD!), Ecuador, Laos... there's work to be done, obviously.

So, the obscure country of the day today is Svalbard, which is a little island archipelago north of Norway which actually belongs to Norway and is not a country. (The 245 includes quite a few of these territories that are not technically independent, but it's OK. Better to know about them than not know about them.) The fun fact about Svalbard is that, aside from sounding like something from The Golden Compass, it is home to the Svalbard Global Seed Vault, an underground "doomsday" vault of seeds that will come in handy after the end of the world.

Previously: Prisnestrovie is the Obscure European Country of the Day, Mauritius

Thursday morning comin' down

I don't really understand why vegans don't wear wool. I mean, you don't kill the sheep to get the wool. In fact, sheep that haven't been sheared in a long time get to be so covered in the stuff, it obscures their peripheral vision--which actually makes them MORE susceptible to tiger attacks. If I were a sheep, I would happy to contribute such a warm, flexible, and useful fiber to the betterment of humanity. Also I would make jokes about it. "Oh, do you find my wool ewe-sful? You need it baaaaaadly!" And so on. I guess we've just figured out why I am not a vegan--it's because I find it all too easy to see things from the sheep's perspective. That, and I love eating meat.

Also, it's not like if the animals ruled the earth, they would stop eating us. They wouldn't. I'm sorry, but that is the reality. Have these people even seen Congo?

The internets (that's "internets," not "internet's," don't get confused) response to the Miss South Carolina video I posted a link to earlier has been swift and cruel. One bright spot in the sea of mockery is Maps for Us, which is attempting to use the power of the digital Internets to make up for the lack of maps in American schools. Like Miss South Carolina, I also "believe our education, should help the US, should help the south africa, and the iraq, and the asian countries, so we can build up our future." It's a beautiful notion.

My favourite is the map of South/Central America made from dirty laundry:

This is going to directly benefit the U.S. Americans.

I did not get any jobs. I am disappointed, discouraged, and also a little relieved that I don't have to work next week. I'm going to sew--brace yourself for pictures of more crazy projects. If I can sew my own clothes, and grow herbs on my balcony, maybe I'll save so much money, I won't even need a job!

...And world peace

I'm not one to make fun of people for being dumb, but... oh wait. Yes, I totally am. So on that note, Miss South Carolina suggests that Americans need more maps. At least I think that's what she's saying.

Simpson, Homer Simpson

Incroyable! An interactive flash map of Springfield, with stills from the show to demonstrate locations.

Today I learned about the tiny island nation of Mauritius, which is East of Madagascar. (For those of us who enjoy comparing the sizes of other things to the sizes of US states, it's "about the size of Rhode Island.") Apparently, Mauritius has the second-largest GDP in Africa, but more importantly, the whole island is a wireless broadband internets hotspot--or at least, that was the plan in 2005. I can't find any news about whether this ambitious goal has been met. I love that the Department of State entry linked above contains this sentence: "In recent years, information and communication technology (ICT) and seafood have emerged as important sectors of the economy, growing by an average of 40% last year." Information and communication technology and seafood are the future.

You don't see Rhode Island installing no universal wireless.

I am enjoying using bad grammar today--I'm not sure why. It will pass, though. It always does. Saying "internets" instead of "internet" is probably here to stay, though.

I'm in ur library, answering ur chat reference questions.

Some links, plus one sentence on the subject of vocation

From the Wall Street Journal: How various presidents stack up in terms of approval ratings. Poor Gerald Ford--that guy had nothing BUT bad days.

An interesting article from Malcolm Gladwell about the development and marketing of SUVs and the impact on safety. From 2004--don't ask me why these things suddenly show up on digg. "According to Bradsher, internal industry market research concluded that S.U.V.s tend to be bought by people who are insecure, vain, self-centered, and self-absorbed, who are frequently nervous about their marriages, and who lack confidence in their driving skills." SNAP!

A diverting yet pointless page demonstrating lakes and islands in various combinations. Did you know that the largest island in a lake on an island in a lake is in Mindemoya Lake on Manitoulin Island in Lake Huron? I sure didn't. Thank God. The very idea of knowing such things makes me exhausted.

Today made me think that maybe I made a bad choice in becoming a librarian, since I have so little patience for the stupidity of others.

The good news is, I can now name all 53 countries in Africa in under three minutes. It wasn't easy, but I memorized this list, and with some hard work and extreme work-induced boredom, you can too.

Monday link brigade

Much as its name implies, weird converter.com converts things from a normal unit--say, a centimetre--to a weird unit. Or from a weird unit to a weird unit. Like for example an american cockroach, a Shaquille O'Neill, or a placenta. For example, there is .55 Tom Cruises (in weight) to 1 Jennifer Aniston. The height comparison would be more like 1.1:1, probably. Wait, did I get that backwards? Fractions have never been my strength, or my calling.

Knowledge Navigation: this video explains Apple's vision for the future. Nothing that exciting about that. But it's from the 80s, which makes it funny.

Useful household tips: this video shows how to fold over a chip bag to preserve freshness and avoid chip-spilling embarrassment. Without any kind of external technology! Impress your friends, and strike fear into the hearts of your enemies.

Three sites related to strange geography: strange maps, a blog that collects the titular items; blind atlas, which discusses the geography of invisible places; and VirtualAni, about the deserted Armenian city.

Bonus link: Brazilian artist Icaro Doria uses flags as graphs that show statistics about their countries.

It's now time for another episode of... OEC of the day!

Pridnestrovie is the Obscure European Country of the day! "Part of The New Europe!"

[Edited Saturday, March 24 to add: Places that don't exist: an interesting BBC documentary about Pridnestrovie.]

A mnemonic device, invented by me, to remember the -Stans*

Kyrgyzstan
Afghanistan
Azerbaijan
Pakistan
Uzbekistan
Tajikistan
Turkemnistan
Optional: Stanley Kowalski from A Streetcar Named Desire

*Well, OK, technically 6 -Stans and 1 -Jan.
**Also, do not forget India. It's a biggie.

Other sets of countries that go together nicely, for reasons that generally have to do only with word structure and not geography: Bhutan and Bahrain (extraneous H); Cambodia and Cameroon; Yemen and Qatar (both go consonant-vowel-consonant-vowel-consonant); Albania, Angola, and Algeria (both begin and end with 'A'); Ethiopia and Eritrea (Begin and end in 'E'; also, both in Africa); Guinea, Guinea-Bissau, and Equatorial Guinea. Paraguay, Uruguay, and Chad(guay).

Sets of countries that go together nicely, because they used to be one country: Bosnia and Herzegovina, Serbia, and Montenegro; Democratic Republic of Congo and Republic of Congo; Czech Republic and Slovakia; Western Sahara and Morocco (I think).

I am still trying to improve my score on this country-naming game, in case you could not guess the reason for this extravagantly insignificant post. The goal is to get to the point where every country name makes me think of another country name instantly. That, or I run out of typing time. I am up to 145/245. I attempted to justify this activity to someone yesterday, and utterly couldn't. However, I am thinking it must be good for the brain, all questions of information responsibility aside. "Thicker, bushier dendrites," as Douglas Coupland would say.

I am definitely either going to bed, or typing the names of countries into a little text-box.

Earlier we had a game to test US state knowledge. This game has a version for all 245 countries in wikipedia, or all 192 UN member-states. (I'll give you a hint: the UN version is easier.) I got 120/245, but it was painstaking, friends. And I missed a few I definitely SHOULD have gotten.

Earlier post: Enough mind games.

Enough mind games.

Perhaps I am the only one who enjoys Trying to name all 50 American states in 10 minutes, but then, if there is another such person, the internet is surely the way to find them. [From ironic sans]

Also, I apparently do not know how to spell Massachusetts or Connecticut. It is good to know these things sooner rather than later.

I got 38 out of 50. Go and try, then report back. (I'll give you a hint, punk: Oklahoma exists. At least according to this website.) You are expected to do better than me if you are actually American. Since you know I can name all the provinces and territories, sucka. Of course, it helps that there are only 12.^*

*I am kidding. I know there are 13. And 70% of the people reading this website just learned something. I am all about the learnin'!