Tuesday, January 29, 2008

Bad for morale, mine and yours

I'm having a nightmarish day, AGAIN. As Lucas from Empire Records would say, "What's with today, today?" Most of it is so trivial, it doesn't bear repeating. But I did just spend several minutes hunched over one of those tiny laptop trackpads going fuckfuckfuck, if that gives you a notion. It's all work-related, so I'm hoping when I step outside my office into the brisk -30 degree air, I will feel it evaporate from my shoulders like MAGIC. But my mood is such that I doubt it. Nothing in the world drives me more crazy than having stupid tasks delegated to me, and then getting stressed out about them. My time is being wasted, and I should be resentful. But instead I am guilty and panicky: What if I don't do a good enough job of the stupid task? What if the stupid "deliverable" is stupid because of my lack of dealing-with-stupid-stuff-skills, and then everyone is disappointed in me?

This is just the workplace TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY HYPER-CONSCIENTIOUS, PERFECTIONIST, SUPER-COMPETENT GREENNESS. And I resent that.

Anyway, I want to retreat into my little gmail cocoon and just, like, tag emails for the next 35 minutes. Then go home and make mashed potatoes, because you know when the days get nightmarish, you need mashed potatoes. And alcohol. But not alcohol IN the mashed potatoes. That will make things worse and not better.

I'm so grouchy right now, I feel like I have a grouchiness aura surrounding me. If anyone wanders into the grouchiness radius, they will be exposed to the grouchiness, guaranteed. Even writing this is making me kind of grouchy, like, at YOU. Stupid Internet. Stupid people reading my blog. YOU ARE PART OF THIS TOO.

I'm sorry I said that. But I warned you about the grouchiness aura.

Edited at 3:59 to add: I just hit "publish" and got a blogger error. Either (a) my grouchiness has upset the internal electrical balance of my computer or (b) I am being punished for saying I hate the Internet.

Either way, I am adding this to the list of things that are bad for my morale.

No comments: