Wednesday, January 9, 2008

Update on my morale.

In addition to giving updates about my morale (which is fairly good today in spite of suddenly very cold weather), I also enjoy using the phrase "a moderate amount" as an answer to questions. This phrase comes from Veronica Mars. Yesterday someone about to delegate work to me asked, "How busy are you right now?" and I answered, "Umm, a moderate amount?" and this brought me some satisfaction. I am a moderate amount of busy, I have a moderately high morale level, I have accomplished a moderate amount of work today.

The coffee I am drinking is more than moderately good, though. It's very good.

Here is a silly conversation James and I had today during our delicious lunch at Zuppa's:

Jocelyn: ...So I think I'm developing a caffeine dependency again. But it's not like I drink that much coffee. I only have one coffee a day.
James: I think one a day is good for you. One a day of anything is good for you.
Jocelyn: One a day of everything? What about heroin?
James: One a day of heroin is good for you.
Jocelyn: What's a unit of heroin? Like, things in needles are measured in CCs, right? 10 CCs of heroin. Wait, does CC stand for cubic centimetre? 10 cubic centimetres is a lot of heroin. Maybe 1 CC.
Please note: James is not a scientist, and his assertion that one a day of heroin is good for you has not been proven. Please use drugs responsibly.

This morning I didn't get much work done, but I DID learn quite a bit about hunter pets in World of Warcraft. My hunter character, Aeda, has a pet: a giant, flesh-eating carrion bird named Curtis. I LOVE Curtis. Some of my most fulfilling IRL daydreams concern how awesome it would be to have a giant, stinky bird with a six-foot wingspan who followed you around, attacking your enemies. I also find Curtis's name (which I gave him) highly amusing. The number of people in Warcraft whose pets are named things like Kitty or Bear is really pathetic. (This type of generic name is only funny if it is applied to the wrong species. For example, a cat named Kitty is stupid, and people who name their cats that--and there are hundreds--deserve to lose their MMO privileges. On the other hand, a cat named Fish or Giraffe is, if not awesome, then at least a bit more original.) But Curtis--well, that's a magnificent name for a bird.

Curtis is good for my morale.

Anyway, I spent a bunch of time on warcraft websites learning more about pets, and it turns out that through a complicated series of steps I can teach Curtis some new skillz. So I spent a considerable part of my morning making my Making Curtis an Uber-Fleshripper (MCUF) plan, printing it out, and then colour-coding it. (Colour-coding is also good for my morale.) The resulting document looks almost like something I could have legitimately produced for work, except when you look closely at it and realize that step 2 takes place somewhere called "Duskwood," and involves finding and taming "black ravager mastiffs."

I have to go to a dumb meeting in another building now, and it's going to be frakkin' freezing. This is yet another occasion when it would be handy to have a giant carrion bird following you around, breathing on you with his hot stinky raw-meat breath.

2 comments:

so angry said...

lol i don't think i would say that! disclaimer: heroin is NOT good for you! NOT GOOD!

Prolix said...

You can't change your story now!