Sunday, October 14, 2007

"Why are there five kinds of yarn on the floor?" and other valid questions

Friday. I reach a conclusion about work, or the lack thereof, and declare my newfound inner peace on the internets. 4 hours later, I get a phone call about a possible job. It has yet to emerge from the ether yet, though, so I shall leave it be for now.

Last night I ended up with some unexpected people at my house, and some unexpected people sleeping on my couch, and it was like I was seeing my apartment with fresh eyes. Fresh, disgusted eyes. Since when do I live in such squalor? Unemployed, depressed, self-worth-questioning Jocelyn is no fun, at all. So I've just spent about two hours feverishly cleaning, and half (the Southern half, if you want to know) of my apartment is more or less clean. The other half will be clean later today, or tomorrow. I took out garbage and the recycling bags I've been tripping over in the dark for 48 hours. I put laundry in laundry baskets. I asked critical questions, like, "why is there black screenprinting ink dripped all over my dish rack?" "Why are there flowers someone gave me a month ago on my kitchen table?" "Why is there rice underfoot?" "Why are there five kinds of yarn on the floor?"

It's not so much that I mind if other people consider me to be dirty/messy. In fact, that sort of adds to my mystique, maybe. The problem is that I actually really dislike living like that, amidst pizza boxes and empty water bottles, and I need to remember that, how much happier and more functional I am when I live in a clean cage.

Most of Friday and yesterday were spent in some feverish, temporary, envelope-stuffing type work, but it was with friends and take-out and jokes about the stapling Olympics, so it was fun. Thus the dearth of updates. I try to be better and better every single day, but sometimes I just don't get there.

On another note, I am so jonesing for some X-Files right now (almost done Season 5!), but there is none to be had. So I shall have to content myself with some backup DVDs. I have season 6, freshly purchased, but I can't watch it until I'm done with S5 and the movie. What are we, heathens? That goes against the whole spirit of Chris Carter's and my arrangement. I shall not flag nor fail.

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