what Wittgenstein would call a family resemblance; the delicate question of monkeys, and what they can be trained to do;

and also, some Suppositions on the fairere Sexe and the Writing of Poemes and Blogges.

the gender genie: based on an algorithm that analyzes keywords, this little widget will tell you if you are male or female based on a sample of your writing.

I submitted four excerpts from this blog and it said two male, two female. On one essay excerpt it said male. Those statistics don't impress me much. I mean, a trained monkey with a pointing-stick could do equally as well. Or maybe I write like a man... I wouldn't put it past myself. That would explain my large feet. You know what they say about girls with large feet: they use typically "male" keywords in their blog writing. Or so the trained monkeys tell me. Um... urinal. Fighter jet. Boobies.

Bart: What's everyone's problem? I'm glad we're stranded! It'll be just like the Swiss Family Robinson, only with more cursing! We're gonna live like kings! Damn hell ass kings! And every night the monkey butlers will regale us with jungle stories.
Nelson: How many monkey butlers will there be?
Bart: One at first. But he'll train others.
-Simpsons

I talked to my parents on the phone tonight. My mom told me that my dad was sneakily trying to trick her into heating up pre-made pasta sauce, instead of cooking it from scratch, and then he broke down and confessed that he had bought seven jars of it, on sale. He had some hidden in his office so my mom wouldn't know.

So you see, Internet, I was doomed to eccentricity from an early age. Nature or nurture, either way I was screwed, weirdness-wise.